being in a tight seal.

i would say, i have been taken aback by the awkwardness that we both felt (i'm sure you felt it too) when i came to visit you last summer. I was really happy to finally being able to visit you. I know, all these while, it took a lot to admit, i abandoned you to a certain extent that you stray away from me. and i knew, it was also because of the problems that we both encountered at the same time and we weren't able to be there for each other.

I know now, that everytime you wrote a msg to me, on my fb or texted me, you felt the awkwardness too. i can feel it.

when i read your entry on how u missed your bestfriends (i am not one of them), well, i have to admit, you were the one i was trying to rely on when i was in deep trouble but maybe at that time, you were in need of someone to help you sort things out too. and i did stray away from u too.

i thought we could patch things up when i came to visit u, but maybe some things are just meant to be that way.

oh yes, i do miss the phonecalls. just to chat about almost anything. and the crying on the phone until we just can't say anything but just wept.

i promised i would come and visit you there and i broke that promise. i'm trying to make it up to you and come this year, i will make sure i'll have enuff savings to be there.

i owe u two birthday presents. do claim it from me.

when i saw that jerk the other day and i texted you, i felt the urge to call and talked about the old times, but my phone can't do international call and i am too it-blind to know how. i blame it on myself. i was holding back from msging too many things, because of the distance we both felt. i am trying to patch things up.

and, before i forget, happy belated birthday. i hope you had a great one.

p/s: still have the painting of the girl blowing bubbles? that reminds me of us back on those days in Shah Alam.

XoXo.